Updated: May 15, 2020
I was reading today the Bible App plan called There Is A Cloud – Part 2 and how it reminded me that it is the journey itself that forms us.And, I'm going to share with you how I know this to be true in my life. Up close and personal.
From The App
"One of the most difficult places to live is between what God has done in the past and what you’re praying for God to do in the future. It’s the place that’s often referred to as the desert — the place of the dry spell and the drought. Maybe you’re there now.
When we find our self in this place, our eyes instinctively go to what we don’t have and what seems to be missing. Our focus goes to our frustration, instead of His faithfulness.
It doesn’t have to be this way, though. You have a choice in every season, even seasons of drought. You get to choose your perspective.
You get to decide if you will complain about what’s missing or call out to God to provide what’s needed.
You get to decide if you will see the dry ground as a cause for complaint or as the catalyst for crying out to God in complete dependence.
You get to decide if you will stare at the parched, dry ground or fix your eyes towards the skies heavy with blessing.
A season of drought can actually drive you to greater devotion. It can bring you to a place of asking God to “do it again.” To plead with God to come through in the ways that only he can. But it doesn’t happen naturally. It’s a choice — and the choice is yours."
I found this to be so true in my own life:
In my life, God called me to do the Change My Mind album (the one I'm now working on), already in the summer of 2011 - 8 years ago. He moved in me so greatly at that moment that, in the week that followed, seven people received Christ (many muslims) and many were healed following the powerful move of the Holy Spirit in my life at that time. I'll never forget i.
I've never seen that kind of amazing power of God in my life before. It was so easy to listen to the Holy Spirit, obey and see great results daily. That was like an oasis. The "water" flowed. But I understand now that the calling to do do music was a "carrot in front of the donkey", (me), to get me to walk in the desert.
Then came the desert - 8 years and still going strong. It took me 1 year to quit my job that stole most of my time and energy.
It took two years to wrap up my life as it was then with all I was involved in. During those years I began to understand that I needed to change in order to be able to do His will. God dug into me deeper and deeper. It hurt but something good was happening. I was becoming lighter inside.
My kids moved away from home and we moved to where God wanted us to be in the Southern part of Sweden.
I got a job there but then they fired everyone at that company after just weeks after I'd started.
I was left unemployed in a cold rented summer house in the middle of a Swedish Autumn in a very lonely yet beautiful place. No matter how hard I looked for a job I couldn't find one that wanted me. All the doirs closed in my face.
So here I was with time to record my songs Prayer became a lifestyle. The Word started to form me faster than ever before.
It was 2015. I was so lonely. My husband was gone long hours at work and had a long commute. I prayed for a better apartment closer to a train station, God provided and we moved again in 2016. I kept n learning and he kept on teaching me to rely.
2017 By this time I was learning to mix my songs all by myself, studying audio engineering and I created a simple demo. I went to Nashville with it, auditioned and found out that I need to work harder. I also found out that I am not just a singer/songwriter. I am what the industry calls a music producer.
Knowing now what I needed to work on to make the demo better, I went into "the cave" and began re-mixing and improving all the songs on the Change My Mind album and learning how the music business works. There was an awful lot to learn so I didn't get much mixing done. But my heart was getting even lighter and my vision clearer in the desert.
It's now 2019. I have a few songs to go. Still no mighty miracles like the ones in 2011. Oh yes there have been times when God has moved and people have been saved, delivered and healed.
But, for the most part, it has been bootcamp for me. I have been so lonely and so frustrated at times that I've wept as if mourning for a dead person. That dead person was my own flesh dying.
During my wandering in the desert God has been faithful and loving - answering prayers and providing all I've needed.
The most important thing in God's eyes is our hearts and our relationship with him. Not our calling. Not the miracles. Your heart and mine is what really is changed in the desert.
I have to say that I am still in the desert. It still is lonely and dry. I feel almost ready to die of thirst at times but then God shows me a tiny stream and provides shade. Over and over again I learn to trust and ask instead of complaining.
Right now it feels as if I'm 2/3 of the way across the Sahara desert and I can't turn back. I need to go the whole way and arrive at my destination - fulfilling the calling I received in 2011. But you know what?
I've gotten used to being alone with God now and when the album is done, I think I'll willingly keep myself close to God even if the rest of my life is in a desert.
Wishing you the best walk with the King of kings.... Https://linktr.ee/ekitzing